here’s a though: if you find something that you know will trigger my anxiety/panic/paranoia, try not sending it to me. It’s good karma.
it takes all i have to keep my disorders under control and i would appreciate if you didn’t show up only to shit all over my hard work. let’s talk about the care bears instead.
Tucked my mom in, I’m done for the night. Time for the Internet.
Also, I may or may not have made her cry talking about a british science fiction show she doesn’t even watch. Details after the read more.
i was aiming for first place but i am so fucking tired i will count that as a victory
(that’s the snake game i was talking about)
Things I should be doing right now:
Things I am doing right now:
You guys are not gonna believe the great day I had today. I mean, sure, my mom saw me naked and that was really awkward (she made a joke about how I “don’t have a baby penis anymore” and laughed and it was all so uncomfortable. it was Miranda Cosgrove uncomfortable), but it was still a great day. Because, as a nice lady on the supermarket pointed out today, I’m a very hygienic person.
remember how i said i wanted to be a parent? As it turns out i’m kind of already raising a child. My mom.
last night, around 3:15, she woke me up to ask me the following question:
“how do you think the girls in Lost deal with their periods?”
I. Shit. You. Not.
So, after my first reaction (“what the hell?”), I had to stay up with her for like half an hour coming up with plausible explanations (“they’re dead, dead people don’t menstruate”, “remember how the guy in the wheelchair was walking again? maybe they just stopped menstruating”, “maybe the Others had tampons”, “maybe they grabbed some clothes from the people on the plane, washed it on the sea so they could pretend it was clean enough to go anywhere near their platypus, and used it as rags”, “i don’t care, I have a dick, not my problem, go the fuck to sleep.”) I just gave up and made us some coffee. She then manages to forget all about it and watch Nick@Nite.
It took me another hour to go back to sleep.
And then, this morning, she couldn’t stop laughing about it.
So, I grabbed a random Kink Bingo Card on google images and decided I’ll try to fill it. Just to see if I can. And I got lucky, it literally has only one square that doesn’t tickle my fancy.
I think this says a lot about me as a person.
I just had the worst nightmare. It was about TV. Why can’t I just go back to dreaming about serial killers and demons and normal stuff?
After the read more because holy shit is that big.
Today was a good day.
I didn’t leave the house, I basically ate mac & cheese (with extra cheese, as usual), I didn’t actually talk to anyone, I didn’t even leave my bedroom. (Ok, I did, just a little, but only because I don’t have a shower on my bedroom).
But today was a good day.
Because, today, for the first time since fuck it if I remember, I didn’t hate myself. Not a little bit, not even once.
And I made plans. Like, actual, real plans. Not the ones I usually do (like, what would I do in the case of a zombie apocalypse or how awesome would it be to have Sylar kicking my ass. I’m a weird person, I know). Real what am I going to do with my life and let’s get real I am not gonna be president of mars so what can I do how far can I go? plans.
Today was a good day.